What really grinds my gears close

I’m new to Grinds my gears, but was quick to put my hand up for a light-hearted rant about agency life, because something has really got to me this month: sales calls.

I’m one of the Project Managers in Codegent’s London office and nine times out of ten one of us will answer the phone…cue posh phone voice, ”Hello Codegent, Rachel speaking…”.

Now I’m more than happy to answer the phone to a client, someone who wants to talk to us about their digital strategy or even a colleague’s mum phoning to say hello. What I’m really fed up with is the endless barrage of people trying to sell us stuff, every single bloomin' day.

Admittedly they don’t often want to talk to me and that’s fine, no offense taken, its David. He is the chosen one, the untouchable target and just me and my handset stand in the path of victory…cue defensive mode “Who is it, where are you calling from, what’s it regarding?...”

Now I wouldn’t mind if I got Tom from the Apprentice knocking at the door using a gift as a way to get my attention. That’s innovative, yes it’s a bit cheesey, but at least shows some effort. Instead they are more like Jim, full of b*llsh*t and following the top 5 cold calling rules….cue standard responses from me…

1. Keep it casual and sound like a good friend
   You’ll have his mobile number then
    
2. "I’m calling regarding new business”
   New business for us or for you?
    
3. Say companynamereallyquickly so she can’t tell what I’m saying
   Pardon?
    
4. “I’ve sent him an email so I just want to check he received it”
   There’s a 99% he has and is still ignoring you
    
5. Be rude and aggressive and she’ll think I’m important
   (Hangs up)

These all are sure fire ways to wind me up, and not get through to David. But alas! Last week I got a call from someone who was happy to talk to me woo hoo!....

Hello Codegent, Rachel speaking

Hi I’m calling from blahblah business directory and I’d like to update your listing

OK

Is the company registered name still Codegent?

Yes

Are you still at 516 Wandsworth Road, London?

Yes

How many commercial vehicles do you have?

Seriously, that’s the third fact you have in a digital agencies listing?

(Phone goes dead)

Arggghhhh!

I’ve got a job to do and interruptions from pointless calls drive me mad. Leave me alone, let me get on with my work and if we do ever happen to need the service you are offering, we are a digital agency and pretty adept at using Google.

So if you do ever call with a valid reason and get a rather abrupt response from me, sincere apologies, I do want to speak to you. It’s just that most of the time I pick up the phone it’s a sales person wasting my time. And that folks, is what really grinds my gears.